The Walnut

Tuesday was rough for me.

I was having a mental day. No, not a crazy mental day, just mental. I'm anxious and excited about my surgery. I was having car issues. Thinking about the new cat cooped up in the bedroom. I was concerned about my doctor's appt that day. Did I lose or gain weight? Whatever I thought about, I worried about.

Doctor's appt went fine. Cindy went with me and we talked to the dietician and got some food things clarified. I'm going to be fine, I know that, but if you know me, I am the kind of person who has to do things perfectly or I don't do them. I have to make a recipe exactly the way it's written the first time. I have to make a craft exactly the way it is instructed. I have to follow a diet to the letter or I've failed. I'm learning, with the help of good friends (Cindy) and the dietician that I do not have to be perfect.

So here's the thing. After gastric bypass - in 11 more days! - my stomach will be the size of a walnut. Why I'm worried about filling that walnut is beside me. The first few days after surgery is clear liquids. Then on to soft foods, then after six weeks I can have salads and more solid foods. At that time, my stomach will be around the size of a lemon.

I am just so obsessed right now about putting healthy foods into that walnut! That's where Cindy comes in. She is helping me so much by showing me how to put healthy veggies and fruits into juices and smoothies. I just need to be more adventurous in the kitchen when making those things. As I said before, the recipe must be followed EXACTLY! HA!! Cindy says just put in what you like. WHAT?! No recipe? You've got to be kidding! I start getting the jitters and my pits start sweating. Say it isn't so!

So I am learning to mix healthy veggies and fruits into the concoctions I like so that what I put in my walnut is healthy. I am finding I crave a juice drink more than I am craving sugar. Now THAT is foreign to me. I'm used to hitting the snack machine or sneaking in that candy bar somewhere during my day. I did have sweets about four or five days ago. See previous post about eating myself out of house and home. The amazing thing to me is that my body is not craving the sugar. I'm craving veggies!

I feel like my future walnut is my baby. I have to nuture it and feed it healthy food so it can grow into a healthy lemon.