Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Almost Ready

Geez, I haven't posted for over a week. What's up with that? I guess nothing, since not much has happened in the past week EXCEPT A LITTLE WEIGHT LOSS! :)

Weight is going down slowly but steadily. I'm very happy about that. See the graph up there? Slowly but surely the green line and the blue dots are coming together. Freakin' awesome! I can't believe I'm in the 230's already. I mean, I wanted to be in the 230's by the time we left for PA (Sept. 4th) but had no idea I would actually be there. Amazing. You know what one of the things I'm most looking forward to in our trip? Not having to use the seat belt extender on the airplane. I'm also hoping that I won't be intruding on the neighboring seat, either. These are the little things that fat people have to deal with that think people have no idea about.

Along the food line, I'm doing fine with what I'm eating. I can eat just about anything now. I've eaten a hotdog bun with no blockage or dumping. I've had bbq sauce and no problems. I'm always aware of the sugar content of things, so if I want to eat that thing with more sugar than I allow myself (5-8 grams per serving) then I either water it down, or eat less of it. I have been craving a Pepsi so bad these days, but I won't allow myself to have one and there are plenty of them in the fridge. I just know that one sip and that'll be all she wrote. I'll drink the whole thing and it will not be pretty afterwards. There is something like 20+ grams in a serving (1 can) of Pepsi, so rather than dump, I choose not to drink it.

I opened a can of Diet Coke today because I was craving a soda so bad, and it was terrible. No wonder I like Pepsi better. I worry about the aspartame in the sodas because it gives me migraines, so I try to stay away from the aspartame if I can. If I do choose to go down the soda path, I will find a soda with sucralose. I'm really trying to resist soda in general, but if I do go there, I'll go the way of sparkling mineral water with a twist or with soda with splenda.

I am noticing that I can eat larger portions this past week. I'm both happy and sad. Happy in that I can eat less often and sad because it makes me feel like I'm not quite ready for the next phase of weight loss. I feel like the old tapes are playing in my head now. My stomach is bigger, albeit not as big as before surgery, and it makes me think that I can somehow go back to the old ways of eating. That's what my devil-mind is telling me. My angel-mind tells me that I am doing very well with my current way of eating and so why should I shift back to the old, terrible ways of eating? I really am happy how I'm eating now. I don't miss sugar (candy, cake, etc.) but I do miss soda and I feel I can handle that soon. I'm happy eating smaller portions and feeling my belly get full. I'm happy to leave food on my plate. It makes me happy.

So yeah, I weighed today. I put the trash at the curb, so I gave myself permission to weigh and I'm down to 237. The 230's. Amazing. I don't think I've been here for at least 10 years. I remember my weight by events in my life. I remember I weighed 220 when I started my current job 14 years ago. Do you remember the weight/event thing in your life?

I am feeling much better physically. I'm waiting to get a note from my doctor to go back to work. I'm really ready now. A few weeks ago, no, but now, yes. I still have days where the food I've chosen to eat doesn't agree with me, but hey, I'll have those kinds of days whether I'm home or at work. At least I'm not having days where the food makes me feel so bad that I have to go to bed. I'm glad those days are few and far between now.

Thanks for stopping by today. I appreciate you following my blog.

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Sunday tidbits

So, ok, I'm not so good about following directions. I weighed myself today and it is NOT trash day. I'm down to 241. Yes! The last time I weighed was about a week ago, I think and I was 245 or around there. People tell me they can definitely tell I'm losing weight now. They can see it in my face and my upper body.

I have a friend who is losing weight and she is passing her clothes down to me. I love it and thank you, thank you! I am currently wearing size 22 bottoms (most of my weight is around my middle) and about 18/20 tops. She is passing along some 20's and lots of 18 stuff. I am thrilled. Lots of cute, cute clothes to fit into in the next month or so. OMG, you should see this darling bathing suit she gave me.
This is the cutest suit I've had in ages. I love the pink color and the fun black and silver stars all over it with just enough (well maybe not enough) skirting to cover my not-so-sexy thighs.
At 241 lbs how can I feel sexy in a bathing suit? I don't know. Maybe it's partly the weight loss and I feel better or maybe it's just attitude. I think it's more attitude at this point. I feel so terrific by the weight loss!
I'm hoping, but not counting on it, that I'll be under 200 by Christmas. That would be awesome, right?

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Great day!

I know I shouldn't have, but I just had to, it was Monday!

I got on the scale. Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm not supposed to weigh myself until trash day (Wednesday), but I just had a feeling this morning. A feeling something had changed and golly gosh-a-roo, I lost 5 lbs since Friday! I felt so giddy!

I was quite active today. Picking up around the house, shopping for a dress for my niece's wedding, a stop at work to drop off a gift for a friend and to talk to the HR gal, stop for lunch and then home.

Let me tell you about the dress. I went to Lane Bryant because I know that they have dresses. Target, WalMart, Kohl's, you never know what kind, if any, selection they have for plus size dresses, so I went to Lane Bryant right away. I found three dresses I thought were appropriate for the wedding and guess what? I no longer wear a 22/24, I wear and 18/20! I was tickled pink! The dress I chose is sleeveless. A wedding in the late afternoon sun in PA, well, can you say hot and humid?!

The dress is not only sleeveless, but it it cut so that it angles up towards the neckline. No possibility of wearing a bra with straps. I asked the gal at Lane Bryant if she could measure me because I needed a strapless bra and I wasn't sure how much weight I lost on the upper part of my body. She measured and I went from a 44C to a 42B. Fantastic! I ended up buying a 40B instead and adding a bra extender so that I could get more use from the bra as I lose weight. The bras were buy one get one half off, so of course I did. It is the most comfortable strapless bra I have ever worn. Love it! I also bought some panties, too. Oh yes, I was on a roll!

Here's the dress I bought:

It feels wonderful on. So twirly and girly. I am going to work on my tan so that I do not have to wear pantyhose. Ugh.

It is such a great feeling to me to have the physical proof that I am losing weight. I know, how could I not know I was smaller since I've lost 30 lbs since surgery? Well, I think our minds play games with us. Some people can still "look" fat to themselves even if they weigh 125 lbs. How I would LOVE to weigh 125 lbs. Maybe some day. :)

I am going to keep the tags on this dress until the end of the month. I may lose enough weight by then to be able to exchange the 18/20 for a size 16. If I don't lose enough weight to do that, that is totally ok with me. I'm happy with what I have.

No, you cannot see a picture of the panties and bras. Pervs.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Before and Current Pics

Ok, I'm being brave today. I'm posting the before and after pics I have so far. I'm down 24 lbs since these pics were taken. The before pics are on the left and the current pic is on the right.

First comparison I see my butt looks less wide and my back between the shoulders looks narrower. Thanks, honey, for noticing my tag was out! Sheesh!!

Left side shots. I can tell the difference. I don't still don't like my booty or gut, but hey, it's getting smaller! Hey, is my thigh smaller or am I imagining things?

Right side. I can tell the difference here. My butt and my gut look smaller. I never realized how much weight I carried in front of me. My old armor. sigh.

And lastly, here's the front view. I think I look thinner, but not by a lot. I don't think my belly hangs down as bad as before and I look a bit narrower from under my boobs side to side. I can't wait to lose side boobage from under my arms. I'll celebrate when my arms hang down straight instead of like a linebacker.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Rambling today

First: I went to the doctor on Friday. It was a follow-up from my hospital visit a week ago. The dehydration incident. The visit showed I'm doing well surgically, but this post-op life change, is very tough on me. It's very hard for me to eat. I am doing better with my liquids, but eating is still a problem. I told NP Kelly that I would eat when I'm hungry. My fat brain was telling me that if I ate, then I would get fat or wouldn't lose weight, but I cannot possibly eat as much as I did before because my stomach is smaller. Duh. I am going to accept my imperfections as things to learn from, not to beat myself up over.

Oh, the NP told me I can go back to a regular diet now. That means meat and fresh fruits and veggies! Salad! My body will tell me if it doesn't like what I eat, so I may as well try it all. Yippee! Oh, and NP Kelly told me to stop weighing myself every day. I've been stuck at 250 for two weeks and I was sabotaging myself by not eating because I thought that would help me lose weight. Nope! So now I'm weighing only on trash day. Hey, I had a choice to weigh on trash day or church day, and since I don't go to church, trash day it is.

Second: Today was a great day. I slept in until 9:30 (oh shame!) and then checked my email, my RSS feeds and Facebook. Then I had my coffee and went out to work in the yard. The gardener was out there working on the irrigation, so I swept up the hedge mess out front, swept the cobwebs and dust from the fence and watered the patio plants. It was so nice outside today - high 70's with a nice cool breeze. I ate when I got hungry and I took all my pills today. I tend to forget to take my B1 and my vitamin, so getting all the pills in is a big deal to me. I drank lots of water and I feel great.

Third: I need to get a few projects done. I have the bbq side burner to get done. I told John I'd sew a cover for it. He got a cover for the grill, but they don't make covers for the side burners. That's weird, isn't it? I also need to clean the craft room so I can get up there and get some crafting done. I've been off work for 6 weeks and I've not done one single card! I also want to get the wall quilt started. I bought the kit at the Long Beach Quilt Show last month, so there really is no excuse.

Fourth: I forgot to ask the doctor when I can go back to work. I'm getting kind of tired being home, but I'm really not ready to go to work yet. I still have very low days because of no energy from food choices, so it's really not fair to my employer if I go back and then take days off. I want to go back feeling at least 90% recovered.

Fifth: I have not juiced in days. I am really feeling the desire to have smoothies, but just don't get off my butt to make them. Sad. I'm still reading all the inspirational food blogs on my website and from my RSS feeds, so at least I'm not ignoring the juicing and smoothing links.

That's it for today. Nothing really exciting happening in my world.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

A very cool thing

Check this out:I have to drink a lot of fluids each day, as much as possible, especially since I had that stint in the hospital with dehydration. So, I thought, why not have popsicles? That's a great idea, except that I can't buy commercial popsicles since they have sugar or aspartame (Nutrasweet) and I am sensitive to aspartame. I call it an allergy to aspartame since it gives me migraine headaches. The answer? Make my own popsicles!

I found these Cool Cones at Bed, Bath and Beyond. This set of four was $4.99. These are push-up type popsicle molds. I am going to make juice and maybe mix it with yogurt to make it creamy and then freeze it into these push-up popsicles. I am going to make juice tomorrow and add some yogurt for creaminess. Sounds yummy, no? YES!

I did pretty good today with my liquids. I'm sure I'm hydrated well enough, but I didn't eat enough protein today. I visited with my Aunt Cathy and my Mom today and well, we just got to talking and I forgot to eat. Yes, forgot to eat! I never could've said that six months ago. FORGET to eat? Riiiiight! But these days, I'm just so satisfied with drinking my juice/water mixture that food really isn't that important to me.

I do have to work on the protein, though. I do not want my hair to start falling out and I do not want muscle wasting, so I have to get the protein in no matter what, at least 50 grams a day. I need to start planning my meals ahead of time, so I make sure I eat or drink my protein each day. I also know how much better I feel when I do get my 50 grams a day in, so it's a must-do.

Now that I've learned that my stomach pain/nausea is from excess stomach acid, I take my protonics early in the day so I don't have a problem with liquids and water. I can't stress that enough to anyone going through this surgery to take the stomach medicine they tell you to take and if you get sick like I did, let the doctor know right away. Don't wait 3 weeks like I did. There is no reason to suffer, and I know that now.

Have not weighed myself in 4 days. Will weigh tomorrow. I feel like I'm losing inches right now instead of weight, but we'll see what the scale says. Either way, I'm happy.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

A Perfect Day

What perfect day it was today! No one went to the hospital, no one got hurt or drunk or anything!

Slept in until 8:30 or so. Had my juice out on the back patio with hubby and read the paper until the gardener came by. Had a 1/2 of an egg salad sandwich for lunch. Took a 3 hour nap. Had 1/2 a blue cheese hamburger patty for dinner. Walked with hubby to the post office, chatted with neighbors and watered the patio plants. Then, oh then! I had dessert.

I was sitting here at the laptop realizing my tummy was hungry again and I wanted pie. Oh yes, pie. That's the first thing that came to my head. Warm pie with crumbles on top. As I was imagining eating it, Tony (my kid) came downstairs and I told him what I wanted. First he laughed, then he says, "so have pie. Make yourself a pie."

Well, I can't really have pie, because it has sugar in it, but I got an idea. I cut up a fresh peach into a little bowl and then I googled pie crumbles. You know the kind that goes on top of an apple crumble? Yeah, that!

The recipe said 1/2 C flour, 1/2 C sugar and 1/4 C butter. Well, I can't have any sugar, so I used my box of Splenda because it substitutes equal amounts of Splenda for sugar. I mixed all of those ingredients together and added a little cinnamon and it made crumble! I put some crumble on top of the peach and put it in the oven for about 20 minutes, and when it came out, oh my freakin' god, it was delicious. I didn't even think to take a picture for you because I ate it right away.

I feel like I cheated somehow, but I didn't. Nothing I ate was off-list and it was so mentally satisfying I feel terrific. We have apples, peaches and nectarines in the fruit bowl, so looks like tomorrow's dessert is planned already. I think I'll make apple tomorrow for John and I. I know he'll like it, too.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Hospital Visit

If you read yesterdays post, you know I was feeling icky. Well, that wasn't even the tiniest bit of it. I called the doctor's office and got an appointment for 4pm. I went in and the NP Kelly said it sounded like I was dehydrated and that my stomach was producing too much acid, despite taking Ranitidine.

So, I was admitted to the Observation Unit at Pomerado Hospital's ER. They immediately hooked me up to a bag of some IV fluid and it drained rather quickly. I started to feel better right away. They hooked up another bag. I couldn't believe I still hadn't peed. Then when that bag was empty, they hooked up a "banana bag". That's another fluid bag filled with lots of vitamins. That was a slow dripper and it emptied sometime during the night. I slept pretty well since John had dropped off my CPAP for me.

Early this morning, I went in for an upper GI. I had to drink this nasty-tasting drink while the radiologist and NP Kelly watched it go down my throat and into my belly. No leaks in the staples in my stomach or no ulcers. There is a tiny hiatal hernia, but no reflux. I'm happy to hear that.

So Kelly prescribed some Protonics for me, told me to make an appt with her this next week and then I left the hospital. I picked up the new prescription, came home and had a little bite to eat and now I'm hydrating. Poured a little bit of tangerine pomegranate juice into a glass and filled it with water. Just enough juice to change the flavor of the water.

I don't want to go through this again. I know better now not to let this feeling/condition go for 2-3 weeks. Call the office, call the office, CALL THE OFFICE! Sometimes I am so stubborn. Yeah, see previous posts for clarification. LOL

I'm going to take it easy today and maybe even take a nap or two.