Is is armageddon?

I feel like I'm eating like there's no tomorrow.

Today started out ok. I had a half cup of coffee and then ran out to get the new kitty, Goober. I didn't eat because I really wasn't hungry. When I got home at noon, I was starving. I found leftover black beans, carne asada, shredded lettuce, peppers, 1/2 a tomato and some cotija cheese and made myself a wrap. It was delicious, but I really could've had 1/2 of the wrap. I let myself eat the whole thing.

After eating the wrap, I headed upstairs to the craft room to get some projects done. I ate six, SIX! of those Rocher candies and a nutty peanut butter wafer thing. After an hour, I went downstairs and opened a bag of white cheddar popcorn and shared that with John. I promply fell asleep on the couch. A sugar stupor, I'm guessing.

Why am I eating like this after so long of eating so healthy? Am I subconciously eating the things I won't be able to eat after surgery? Ah, I just had an idea. Guess what I quit doing? JUICING! I think the veggies and fruit juices keep my blood sugar at a constant level and eating candy and crap put me back into the junkie mode - once I started the drug (sugar), I couldn't stop. After the nap now, I feel hung over. Have a slight pressure headache. Sugar is evil!

Instead of beating myself up mentally, I'm just accepting this slight deviation from my plan, and carry on. Get back to juicing and eating right. I don't know why I will only accept perfection from myself on eating better when it took me 50 years to get like this eating the way I have. I need to start treating myself the way I treat others, with more understanding and compassion.

I'm off to cook my garbanzo beans so I can make my hummus.