A Nutritional Disaster

I was very hungry when I got up this morning. By the time I had finished my 1/2 cup of coffee, I was ready to eat, but was feeling a bit "pooky" and I didn't really know what I wanted, so I waited to see if my body would tell me what it wanted. Around 10:00 it said it needed juice and protein of some kind, so I started the juice. I was making juice for two and since John tends to turn his nose up at green-tasting juices, I made this one sweet. Too sweet. I ended up putting in a kale leaf (yay me) and a handful of spinach. It was a little green, but maybe I could get away with serving him this juice. So I turned around to get the glasses out and saw that the food bin in the back of the juicer was not connected correctly (who cares at this point?) so I turned back to straighten it out and this is what happend:I am so, so sad. Not really that all the juice is all over the floor. Not because I wasted all that produce. No, I'm sad because the bowl I use to capture the juice from the juicer is one that belonged to my grandmother. It's just an old pyrex bowl, but it was a unique size with an old-fashioned design on the sides. I just about cried. I felt my insides get all cramped up and felt anxiety creeping in.

John helped me clean up the mess and I said good-bye to grandma's bowl. I will have to search through the antique stores for another one like it. It won't be the same because it's not grandma's, but oh well.

So, anxiety is settling in quickly. I'm very hungry and now I just want to EAT! Anything, anything, turn around in circles, find the food, find the food, give it to me! Kibbles and bits, kibbles and bits, got to have me some kibbles and bits. You know that commercial? That's how I felt!


So did I do that? No, I took a walk around the house. Try to get in touch with the feelings inside. I'm feeling the anxiety over losing the bowl, I'm sore from being on my hands and knees cleaning up the juice/glass mess and I'm hungry!

After the quick walk, this is what ended up on my plate:

Greek low-fat yogurt with fresh strawberries, a banana and banana bread with canola oil margarine. I don't see any Little Debbie's snack cakes in there, do you? I need time to myself now. Upstairs with my breakfast I go. John follows me to make sure I'm ok. Who is this man? After he is assured I'm ok, he goes back downstairs.

I have to blog. Blog, blog, blog! Get it out, say it, purge the feelings into words, throw it up. So yes, I blog. My mind goes faster than I can write, so I type it. As I'm typing, I am calming down. No drugs necessary. Feel the feelings and deal, right?

So what's left of that breakfast? Half the banana bread, half a banana and half the yogurt, and guess what? I'm not hungry anymore. I didn't need that much stuff on my plate in the first place. Listening to my body and feeding it what it wants, not what I want to feed it. Taking care of my body. It's the only one I get.

Thank you, Doris.