Stubborn or just gas?

I woke up today feeling different. Awake, alive, free, open, clear, healthy.

Yesterday was definitely a learning day for me. I felt really terrible and couldn't wait to go to bed so I could just have a different day. Around 5pm yesterday, I realized I had gas. No, not the farting kind, just intestinal gas. I asked John to bring me some chewable Gas-X and he did and my god, what a difference! I'm telling you, this surgery is not easy to figure out. My guts hurt yesterday and I assumed that it was because of what or how much I was eating. While that part may be true, it was also the combination of things I ate that gave me gas and I didn't realize it. It is so hard to figure out what is going on with that pouch sometimes.

I am a stubborn person. I hold on to what I believe is right and I don't change unless I have substantial evidence to the opposite. I am a very easygoing person, though, and I do love spontaneity, but in my beliefs in things is what is hard for me to give up.

For example, yesterday being a very shitty day. I believed what I wanted to believe about my food. Then I was reminded by a good friend that I should seek out the doctor's message board. On YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT! That message board is full of information! I went straight to the food issues part and found out so much more information than I wanted, but needed. I tend to be a fairly private person when it comes to very personal issues (things I don't want to share) and so I figure I'm stuck with those issues and there's no changing them. Wrong! I am not the only person facing those issues. Ha, go figure!

So one of the things that was getting me down mentally this past week was the fact that my weight loss had come to a standstill. Three weeks post-op and a plateau already? I was devastated. I have so much to lose and already I'm stuck? From the message boards, I learned that this is totally normal at 3 weeks out, and it won't be the last plateau either. Some of the people stalled for 3-4 weeks and here I am whining because I stalled for 4 days. Oh poor me, didn't get what I wanted! Spoiled little girl!

So I felt those feelings, took my Gas-X and went to bed and had a wonderful sleep. Today it feels as if my eyes are wide open. You know the feeling? Just ALIVE!

Oh and I'm down to 250.2 today.