Food is not my friend today

Nor was it yesterday or the day before that. 

 

Oh, I'm eating, it's just that it seems whatever I'm eating makes me feel too full or bloated.  Not a good feeling either way.  I just had about 6 almonds for a snack.  I chewed them each until they were the consistency of baby cereal and still my stomach hurts.  I've had almonds before, so it's not a nut issue.

 

I brought an egg and bacon burrito for breakfast today.  I didn't eat it until lunch because one of the ladies brought in zucchini bread for the morning meeting.  I had one thin slice of that with a little cream cheese and I was ok.  For a while.  Then the grouchy stomach kicked in.  Straight to the bathroom I went.  Ugh. 

 

For lunch, I heated about 1/3 of the burrito and ate some of the egg and bacon part before my stomach did flip-flops.  The flour tortilla tends to stick in my stomach too long so I avoid it.  The egg and bacon was not a good food choice, either. 

 

So now here I sit with water.  Just water.  I need to keep hydrated because this is the pattern I got into before with the dehydration and the hospital visit.  The icky, sometimes semi-painful stomach makes me not want to eat or drink and so it goes. 

 

I can really tell the size of my stomach now.  Even though I can eat more than I could a month ago, it's still small.  Very small.  I am reminded of that fact every time I eat one bite too many.  Oh the pain!  My stomach feels tight and it feels like the food is still in my esophagus waiting to enter the stomach sometimes.  Ouch.  I really have to stay connected to my food intake or I end up this way.

 

I do like the check and balance, however.  I mean, how effective would it be if I had the surgery and then nothing changed?  What if I could still eat all and everything I wanted?  Dumb.  This is a physical reminder that I cannot, and will not, eat as I did before.  I'm taking this challenge one day at a time.  That's all I can do.

 

I really, really need to go shopping.  There are no viable vegetables or fruit in the house.  I have to scrounge for dinner items and snacks.  I think I will hit the grocery store before heading home tonight or I'll just be repeating today again tomorrow. 

 

Thanks for listening to my woes.  This is such a learning process for me.