Brain vs Stomach

Things are changing, yes they are. 

I'm finding that I'm becoming more and more comfortable with my food.  I'm more comfortable with eating less, even though I fill my plate like I did before.  I'm ok with the reality that I cannot eat the whole plate of food.  I stop when I'm almost full and I'm ok with that, too.  I'm not eating to satisfy my brain, I'm satisfying my stomach now.  It's a weird change, but a good one. 

I've been eating what I call mainstream food.  I'm not worried about eating only protein or veggies, no carbs, etc.  I'm just eating what I want.  Really, I don't eat that much, so why stress about eating "clean".  By "clean" I mean that I would eat a basic protein, grilled chicken, for example and then either a salad or a veggie.  No sauces, no spices.  I don't know why I got on that kick, but I did.  I would eat most of my meals that way and thought that's what I had to do to eat right.  Where does my brain get that?  I don't know.  I thought that if I restricted my food in that way that I would lose weight.  I'm finding I put so many unrealistic restrictions on myself that there is no way I could possibly live like that.  I set myself up to fail.  Why? 

Hard to get rid of all that old shit in my brain.  In the past, in trying to lose weight, I'd try stuff like that.  It's impossible to follow for a long time.  Like the Atkins diet.  Easy enough to follow for a week, but a lifetime?  Hell no.  Too restrictive.  So why did I let my brain tell me that it was ok to eat like that after surgery?  I don't know.  I tell you, this surgery does a number on your head.  So much of this has to do with how you think about your relationship with food, not just how much or what you eat.  So now I eat what I want and I just stop when I'm almost full.  It's working.

Oh, and I'm down to 229.4!  I'm in the 220's and I can hardly believe it.  I'm feeling like a normal person these days.  I can wear smaller clothes and I feel like I can move better and I definitely feel better.  Only 29 more pounds to reach my goal of under 200 by Christmas.  I'm sure I can do it!