Monday, February 1, 2010

It's Been Awhile

Too long since I posted last.  Lots of crap going on.
1.  My eating is terrible these days.  Too much processed junk and not enough healthy stuff.  I'm craving vegetables, but I don't eat them.  Too much work, I think to myself.  Say what?!  I'm just lazy and would rather just grab a popcorn chip as opposed to eating a healthy wrap or something.  Oh, I did make some healthy smoothies last week, but there were no veggies in them.  I'm sick to my stomach because I'm eating terribly, but do I stop?  Well, not yet.  I'm working on it.  It's kind of like a binge without the bingeing since I can't eat a lot, but I can OVER eat.  I'm also eat crap so I feel terrible.  Ok, that's one thing I have to take care of.  The weird thing is, I'm still losing weight, so that doesn't help the insanity either.
2.  My personal life is hell.  I've procrastinated on so many tasks that I risk the chance of my car being taken away.  Oh, nothing like missing payments (car is paid in full) or accidents.  I just haven't gotten it fixed.  California has this stupid smog thing you have to do to your car and my car didn't pass the smog test.  I have to have some sensors replaced.  That's all.  Thing is, way back in June (yes JUNE) when I paid my registration and had the car tested and it didn't pass the smog test, I applied to the State for monetary assistance for repairs.  I was granted the assistance, but then I had my two surgeries and I forgot.  Fastforward to October.  I get stopped by the Highway Patrol and get a fix-it ticket.  I had until January-something to get that done or have to pay a $250 fine.  In December I get stopped by the Sheriff and he gives me a ration of crap about my registration.  I explain the above stuff, but he doesn't care, and rightfully so.  He lets me off with a warning, but says if I get pulled over again, they will impound my car.  Did all that spur me on to fix the car?  NO!  I am sick and tired of taking care of my car.  I think it should be my husband's job, but apparently he doesn't agree with me. 
3.  Taxes.  I'm not going to tell you EVERYthing here, but let's just say we are way behind in filing taxes.  It's my fault and I need to get it done.  This is one thing I vow to do in the next week:  Get an appointment with my tax guy and get 2009 done so I can file the past years taxes done.  Hey, it's a power struggle thing and I'm not proud of it.  I just want someone to pay attention to me.  Guess what?  It's not working.
4.  I hate taking pills.  If I can't take them all at once in the morning, I just don't do it.  I don't want to remember to do it.  Even though I set alarms on my phone to remind me to take pills, I don't.  I look at the phone and say "ha ha, I don't have to take them if I don't want to".  It's stupid.  Another power struggle, but with MYSELF!  How freakin' stupid is that???  I was not a good girl (surprise) and did not take my B vitamins after surgery so now I'm deficient.  I'm also vitamin D deficient, too, but just a little.  I think I need to re-connect with my sun buddy.  So if I didn't like taking the pills before, now I have MORE pills to take!! 
Here's what I take:  Synthroid, Lexapro, Prilosec, multivitamin, calcium (2 pills a day), vitamin d, vitamin b6, vitamin b12, Omega oils and iron.  Theoretically, I have to take the Prilosec first thing in the morning so the stomach acid calms down.  Have to wait 2 hours before or after eating to take the Synthroid.  Lexapro can be taken with anything.  Vitamin D should be taken with the C and the B6 can be taken with the multivitamin (which is a chewable).  Calcium should be taken at night because it makes me a bit sleepy.  The omegas I take with dinner.  The B12 is twice a week.  Is the vitamin D only twice a week or is it daily?  The iron.  Hmm, I know I can't take the iron with either the C's or the calcium or something...  I forget.  God, I hate taking PILLS! 
I have to get my shit together with the pills or I will pay for it health-wise, I know that.  I'm just so tired of all the pills.  I've been feeling so crappy and I know it must have something to do with the pills I'm not taking.  My nutritionist told me to think of them as nutrition instead of pills.  Whatever.  It's still a pill.  There are times that the pill will not go down my throat because I just don't want to take it and some of my pills are BIG.  I will get through this, right?
Well, I guess I'll get off my pity pot.  I'm tired of sitting on it, actually.  Got to get these things cleared off my list.


  1. I'm too tired to offer anything more constructive than I get where you are coming from. You've been through a lot and have undertaken a brand new life - there will always be rough spots, backwards slides and rebellion. Us strong-willed gals don't take orders well.

    Thinking of you and hope you get those taxes done and the sensors fixed.

  2. oh I couldn't take all those pills either....I hear ya.
    fixing cars IS husband work. We have periods. the rest is theirs...haha

    I love ya! Let's knit!


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