Can You Hear Me Now?!

I feel like my stomach and my brain are at war and no one is listening to the other one.

I've had some really good weeks, but these past two or three have been a semi-hell.  All of a sudden I found I could eat a little more at a sitting and that has made brain happy.  Closer to eating like the old days, only not so much and not as junky eating, just more quantity.  Then stomach decides that isn't such a good idea and it rebels.

So I've had this thing now for the 2-3 weeks of stomach pain, the over-full feeling with food backed up into my esophagus and mild discontent (brain).  The stomach knows it has more acreage and just doesn't want to share with brain.  So how do I get bossy brain to back off and give me some peace?

I've decided to go back to basics.  Less foods, blander foods and eat more often instead of the 4 hour schedule I was on.  That seems to be working.  Somewhat.  Brain still wants more food.  Brain even thinks it can eat sugar, but stomach says NO!  Stomach says, well, I'll let you eat sugar, but I won't actually give you a big sugar dump in the sense of hurting and incapacitating you.  No, I'll just make you tired as hell.  Make you want to sleep like RIGHT NOW!  Let me tell you, this plan does not work.

I don't like this war.  Who would?  I have to work out a plan to make brain and stomach work peaceably together.  I need a mediator.  Need to get back to counseling more often.  Need to listen to stomach more than brain.  Who says the brain is the smartest anyways?  Certainly not stomach.

I think part of this semi-hell I'm in is because I'm not talking to anyone about it.  Not sharing how I feel.  Getting feedback.  I don't tell people that I feel crappy, that I have food backed up into my esophagus and it hurts like hell.  Who wants to hear a complainer especially when they really can't do anything about it?  I don't want to be a complainer so I keep it to myself. 

I have an appt with the surgeon next week, and I will talk to him about this for sure.  Just when I thought things were going along so smoothly, this happens.  So weird.  Maybe it's normal at this stage in the game, I don't know.  I'll find out.

On a more positive note, I'm down to 228 and I'm in smaller clothes again.  Yay.  I'm down to a 20 in pants and an 18 in the top.  I just got another couple of bags of clothes from Johanna and I can fit into almost everything she gave me.  I know those clothes were too big for her because yowza, you should've seen her in her smaller black leather pants and bustier last night.  Oooh-la-la!  She says the bustier is coming my way soon.  Holy moley!  I hope it looks as good on me as it did on her. 

Going to feed stomach now and make brain take a time out.