Thrown for a loop yet again, but I'm OK

I'm trying not to be all depressed about it, but the fact of the matter is, it hurts.

Yesterday morning, I'm eating my oatmeal out on the back patio and John is reading his newspaper.  I mention that, even though it's not trash day, I weighed that morning and oh-my-god I'm down to 209.  I'm excited, you know?  Guess what he said?  Nothing.   He said nothing.  He half-smiles and nods and goes back to his paper.

I know, I know, guys get into their caves and don't like to be bothered when they're in there, but I was just so excited, you know?  After he said NOTHING, I really wanted to lash out and yell and tell him what a shithead he was (is), but that wouldn't have solved anything but let the neighbors know our business.  So I went up to the craft room and stayed there all day.  Oh, I'm not letting this slide under the carpet, no way.  He's going to hear how he hurt my feelings, that's for sure. 

After thinking about it yesterday and today, I'm glad I'm fairly centered and realize that I'm losing weight for ME, not for him or anyone else.  I just want to know how hard it can be to say, "gee, you look good today" or "I notice how much thinner you look" or something like that.  ANYthing!  Hell, my coworkers notice every day.  My acupuncturist even tells me he can see the difference.  He calls me the incredible shrinking woman!  My husband?  No words.

This whole situation is nothing new.  We've been married for 22 years and I've been feeling left out for a long time.  We've discussed similar situations and things change for a short time and then back to what it is.  I can't help but take it personally.  What person doesn't like to hear personal conversation?  I get football, baseball or scouts.  Whoopie.  I just feel like we're roommates.  Sad.

I do fill my life with things that make me happy.  I get to knit night every Tuesday.  I go out with the girls for wine, food, movies or fun.  I have great relationships at work with my work family.  I know my relationship with my husband is not right, but it's always been that way and I figure it always will be.  If only one person wants to change, it's hard to keep trying when it's a one way street,  you know?

I didn't mean for this to be a husband-bashing post.  Not at all.  I think where I'm going is, that with the weight loss, I'm feeling my feelings.  REALLY feeling them and I feel alone.  Alone is good sometimes, but not all the time.  I'm just afraid if things keep going as they are now, that things will change, and not in a good or planned way.  Maybe, just maybe, he'll read this post and learn something.